I am a sentimental person. If you ask my husband, I'm a pretty emotional gal. Tomorrow we're purchasing a "new" house, one that is larger and has a larger yard. I'm so very excited about this! However, you wouldn't know it from the amount of packing I've done. Beyond the initial stuff we moved out to make our house look better to show, I haven't packed a thing. Why? I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with my emotions.
We haven't even lived in this house for 3 years, but I'm going to miss it. Specifically, I'll miss the nursery the most. When we moved in, that was the first room we worked on. So much love has gone into that room! Both my babies have slept there, and the walls have been a backdrop for many "month birthday" pictures. I have rocked my babies in there and slept in there when they weren't well. However, as I write this, I am feeling better, because I am taking all of the furniture with me. Still, it'll be different. It'll be okay, but I'll miss that room.
What else am I sentimental about? Griffin will be 4 months old tomorrow. When we go to the doctor Monday, there is a chance she'll tell me he's ready for cereal. Seriously!? I remember when Cambree was this age, and I was so excited to be able to give her cereal. How much things change with the 2nd child! I don't want to give him cereal. I want him to nurse. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to nurse him until kindergarten or anything, but he still seems so young to me! I completely understand why it's different with "the baby" of the family. He is more than likely my last baby, and I'm not ready for him to grow up yet! I know I'll turn around and it'll be time to wean him, so maybe if I delay this first step in weaning him time will go more slowly. Won't it?
I also get sentimental when I look at Cambree. She's getting so big! I love carrying on a conversation with her, but it makes me sad that every day she needs me a little less. I know that's my job, but it makes me sad that it's all happening so quickly! So, in case you need a good cry, let me share with you part of a book that my cousin Holli gave me when Cambree was born. It's called "Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury, and it's about our children's lasts.
"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts:
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts...
The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips,
The last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip.
The last night when you woke up crying, needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket, wanting to be rocked.
The last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if I'd known they were your last?...
The last time that I comb your hair or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you and tuck you in at night.
The last time when we cuddle with a book, just me and you.
The last time you jump in our bed and sleep between us two."
The book has many more than those, but they're some of the ones that stick out to me the most right now. Just yesterday I looked at Cambree and thought, "You know, I need to go rock her. When will she not want me to rock her anymore? Will it be soon?"
So, I know you've heard it said, but I'll say it again: Slow down! (And believe me, I'm talking to myself here!) When you pull that toddler out of the bath tub and she's all cuddly wrapped in her towel, cuddle her. When she falls down and has a boo-boo and just wants to be held, hold her. When he's done nursing and just wants to have that after nursing talk, sit and talk to him. When he wants to hold your finger, let him. Life will be there, waiting for you with all the icky stuff that must be done, but your kids won't be little forever. I need to remember this when Cambree looks at me and says, "Hold me," and I'm tired and don't want to pick her up. How many times will it take of me telling her, "Not right now," before she stops asking? I need to remember when Griffin has a day where he wants nothing more than to be close to his mama. One day I'll be wishing for those days!
So, sorry to get all mushy on you, but that's where I am today. I am so blessed to have these children, and I need to love them all I can while I can, because all too soon the opportunities will be gone. So if you see me rushing around or complaining about the stage that my kids are in, feel free to gently remind me that if I'm not careful, I'll miss those lasts.
So you had the warning it would be emotional.... a pregnant woman should have stopped there. Sweet post though. I had a cry for you too....
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Whew! Corynn! You're taking me on an emotional roller coaster! Is it ok to cry on my lunch break?! I hope so since this totally touched my heart! Even with the tears, I love this post. Seriously, we all need to be reminded of these things.
ReplyDeleteWow, I think about all the times that I try to get Tulio busy playing with toys so i can do laundry or clean the kitchen.... I need to remember that the messes will wait. Sweet little boys will grow up while I am cleaning. thanks for your message, it was needed.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. Madison is my last one unless we have an "accident" :) When I see a newborn or a mom nursing I want to run over and say..."cherish this time"! I miss nursing, I miss the clean, sweet smell of a newborn. Madison is growing up so fast and it makes me sad. I understand about the moving too. I have left 3 nurseries behind...take lots of pictures from different places in the room before you move the furniture out so you will never forget.
ReplyDeleteCorynn, Mrs. Short read that book for her "mothers breakfast". Of course the tears were rolling. Just let me say that mine are 15, 13, 10, and 7 and those feelings are still there...maybe just over different events. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate! Of course, I bought the book for myself, too. I read it a couple of times when Derek was getting ready to graduate high school, but I haven't been able to bring myself to read it again. I'll have to pull it out next year, when Ryan gets ready to graduate.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't get any easier when they're 19, 16, and almost 9. I fell in love each of my babies from the moment I laid eyes on them, and they are all so very precious to me.
My house may be a total wreck, but it'll all still be there when I get ready for it. I don't always have the opportunity to spend time with my babies, so I take it everytime I get the chance.
Corynn, You hit the nail on the head. Randall's Granny gave me the best piece of advice about being a Mama. The housework can wait...love the babies. They will be gone one day and the chores will still be there. For those of us who love our babies no matter how old they are (32-30-26) we hear you!
ReplyDeleteVery sweet post. I agree with Andrea though, I had warning and I read it anyways and I am already an emotional person but add a 9 month pregnant emotional person to this and it is not good! I definitely need to remember this post. I feel (especially lately) that I tell Abbie Grace too often that I will play with her in a minute so that I can finish what I am doing and after about 30 minutes I remember I told her that I would play with her. I will definitely make a change there. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI love your post! IT is so true. (and yes, I cried like a baby reading it). I can understand why people get frustrated getting very little sleep...but personally I would go for days without sleep if it meant being with Hadley. There is something about her sweet face when she is nursing and her sounds that she makes. And she looks up and grins (and all the precious milk runs out of her mouth... but again, its worth it). I don't think about the fact that its so early in the morning and I have to get up and go to work. I try to slow down and notice every little change. ITs amazing. Its like they change from nap to nap sometimes. Thanks for the book and for reminding all of us to slow down (and smell the babies!)
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